Begini Caranya Lirik

Lagu baru OST Aku Ada, Kau Ada???
Nyanyian: Shaheizy Sam & Yana Samsuddin


Ooooo, Aaaa
Aku tak bisa menyatakan perkataan
Kelu lidah bila berdepan kamu


Aku percaya pada naluri hatiku
Yang nyata sudah ada depan mata


Tapi aku masih belum mengenalmu
Untuk menikmati rasa sebenar-benar cinta


Aku tahu di mana nak cari cintamu
Di sini tak mungkin mengalah dengan apa yang mendatang


Aku tahu ku jumpa terbaik untukmu
Yang indah jadikan kenangan yang luka perbetulkan


Begini.... caranya bagi diriku
Caranya bagi diriku


Tapi aku masih belum mengenalmu
Untuk menikmati rasa sebenar-benar cinta


Ooo Aku tahu di mana nak cari cintamu
Di sini tak mungkin mengalah dengan apa yang mendatang


Yang ku tahu ku jumpa terbaik untukmu
Yang indah jadikan kenangan yang luka perbetulkan


Aku tahu di mana nak cari cintamu
Di sini tak mungkin mengalah dengan apa yang mendatang


Yang ku tahu ku jumpa terbaik untukmu
Yang indah jadikan kenangan yang luka perbetulkan


Begini... caranya bagi diriku
Caranya bagi diriku

opposite-the-road-man

I look, I look and I look.

I saw you at the opposite road

You look at me and smile

You then text me "What are you doing?"

I smirk and the eye shoot yours

My heart suddenly beat as fast as light

My limbs stroke the road

Beside me are white curtains

I stop, I look again

You are still there

I get closer and closer and closer

Your hand was at the back

I saw a heart

YOUR heart! in my hand

I look mine

I squeeze mine but it wont come out

I stole your heart

You did NOTHING

My eyes tell the feeling

You did NOTHING

I get confuse, confuse, confuse

I shout at you

You didn't hear me

I'm in front of you

Holding your heart

I dont want to let it go

You don't want my heart

even I try to force it to out

I kneel down with tears on my white skin

I stood and give your heart back

and a key

a key of my heart

You own it but you yet to steal it

my opposite the road man

Maybe it's about time

Sejak dua menjak ni, ramai orang kata I ni jiwang. Ok, to be honest, memang I ada crush ngan a guy (waaah, berani giler ni). but I takut nak confess sbb takut kalau-kalau I direject and rosakkan our friendship. Eh? :p Before this, I try my best to hold on to this hope yang I know possibility to get him is tiny. All this while I tak ada plak rasa gedik2 with him but lately I think the relation is getting further away.

Orang cakap cinta jarak jauh ni susah. BETUL! I tak bercinta but for me to keep a relation from a distance is not easy. It needs sacrifices from both side. Harus la manusia ada ego kan. I maybe ego but more on takut kalau-kalau I ni tepuk sebelah tangan.

I tak hot seriously speaking. Kerja pakai coverall, tak pandai makeup, tudung pon syria style yang sarung tu je. Tak pandai nak bersolek, mulut banyak cakap, tak lemah lembut. Pendek kata (panjang diam aja :p) tak macam ciri-ciri gadis yang good good laaa.

For almost 4 months dah I try to keep this and hold on to my feeling tapi lately I think it's about time to give up. Bukan I tak percaya yang doa I tak sampai, Allah tak makbulkan doa I tapi I tak nak terus put myself in the situation yang I rasa tak rational for me. Maybe untuk gadis-gadis hot memang la senang nak dapat pasangan. I try to be positive all this while and I am now. For me, give up yang I maksudkan brings a positive impact more than negative impacts sebab eventually, by letting this feeling go, I can be the old me.

Perempuan mana yang tak nak kawin, perempuan mana yang tak nak rasa dicintai dan mencintai and perempuan mana yang tak nak punya keluarga sendiri? I'm just a typical Malay girl yang I think only myself sees my capabilities. I bukan jenis yang nak menunjuk-nunjuk. Kawan pon I berani cakap tak ramai macam uols. I only have myself je kadang-kadang.

In 3 months ni I dah rasa cukup lonely dah and that makes me feel that I have to let the feeling go. I am sooo not sure with what I want right now. All I can see I want to focus on my career walaupon deep down I nak jugak rasa ada teman to talk to to share with to help about.

I dont feel fair kalau I terus ada perasaan ni sedangkan dia cuba anggap I'm his friend. I want to be his friend. and that is why I have to make this drastic decision to let it go. Pretending to have no feeling,it's not gonna be easy but at least it can save the friendship. I memang terangan not his taste and the more I think about it the more I want him and the more I angry with him. So, only me can make it right by letting him go right?

I am an Idiot

Reading a post by Nick Hodge on "People are idiots. Don't be one" makes me see myself as an idiot. Haha not in a bad way but some how we're. Oh, sorry you want to read the article? yeah it's here :p

At a point, Nick was right! I can't deny how lazy and ashamed we are when we can't think small efforts can make a great impact to us. We are too busy buying gadgets, items that we don't really need. I can say that is one damn excellent example of an idiot person. I am one. I can't deny that.

Been seen an unposmarked stamp before several times but I only peel once. And that's it. Hoping that posting is no longer up to the current. But eventually a couple months ago, when I plan to post a postcard to my family in Kuala Lumpur, I wished that I have those peeled stamps in hand. Until now, I still have the postcard.

Every weekend, when we go out for groceries, we don't have the guts to bring our own plastic bags. I would say this is one of the bad habits that we have in Malaysia. We prefer to spend 20 cents for each bags just because of our laziness that eventually mark us as an idiot. I've seen many good example by Western people when most of them shop with their own groceries bag even they are in a big mall. I overheard once in the Great Eastern mall, Jalan Ampang, a lady complaint that there are no plastic bag on Saturday. She mocked the government for making that policy. Her reason was easy "How can I bring bags in hand when I'm in a mall?" Maybe she's scared that she's going to lose her dignity and standard for bringing cheap bags in hand.

We still yet has the odesity to ask for free stuffs when we actually can save. Nothing is free! you even have to pay for the toilet in KLCC. I still remember I was talking with a friend in my office, I said I want to buy a house with a backyard. He asked why and I told him that I want to spend time with the family have coffee in my own garden. He looked at me 'You want to plant flowers or vegetables?'. That shocked me. How can I answer that? I was only planning to have a garden not a plantation farm. I dont want to make fun of him. I said maybe flowers. He responsed "You can't eat flowers. Why dont you grown your own vegetables?". What the heck? A guy telling me to do farming? That was hilarious but when I think back, he's brilliant. At least having my own vegetable in my yard, I can assure that those are free from toxic and clean, right?

Likewise, we can change the lifestyle and our mentality by making a change. It's not about an individual it's about us the nation. Let's make it right together!

-_-

Oh My Labuan

Today I reached the office late. Since I have no coverall in hand and with the so called 'jetlag' symptoms, I decided to leave the hotel a bit later than the time I suppose. I was so excited to meet those boys (sorry not a player just missing those guys very very much). They're my brothers here. It feels awkward when I first step my leg into the morning meeting. Everything looks new to me as if I was in the beauty contest with all the alien eyes locked at me and those sweet sweet sounds from those devil mouths. It was so embarrassing OK.

I play it cool, walk to the end of the room and sat my butt at a place. When the meeting was adjoured, I heard voices saying 'you put on weight, wewit wewit'. The first think in my mind was 'Damn! am I?'. I try to hide my red face, I looked at them and said 'I know. 4 kgs OK!'. I really meant that because I scaled my weight before and after my trip to Dubai. I successfully gained 4 kgs in 2 months. I didn't eat much in the Emirates but I just don't know why I gain those kilos.

Of course, me and my smile has been the topic that these guys can talk on especially Freddy, Alvin and Farhan. These 3 guys can never see me happy. They'll make me happy with their stupid and flirty jokes. Hey, don't get me wrong I'm comfortable with them not because I'm a player it's just they're my friends, my teachers, my brothers. They know the limit and respect me as a lady. That's good enough for me :)

Apart from these fun and good feelings I had, deep down I miss my Labuan friends especially the guy who remembers me everyday. He's the only guy that has the concern to ask me out for meals. We spend too much time together and that makes me miss him sooo much but I dont have the gut to say that to him because I'm scared that he wont take it seriously. He's the joker.

I also miss my 2 ladies, one is my filler and one is my buddy. My buddy who I spend most of my nights before I fly to Dubai together. Trust me thousand stories to catch up with her.

Tonight, I really feel the loneliness. My phone never stops ringing when they are here but that is no longer happening. Labuan has become a strange place again for me. I felt this before when I first step in Labuan but this time it's worse because I had great memories in Labuan so I have higher expectation on it. Labuan seems to be very quiet and peace. I don't like it as my head playbacks the memories. I feel lonely :(

Yeah I proudly said to Ebak and Ibu to not to worry about me. I'm gonna be fine! I am fine it's just the memories bring the sorrow to me. Things are not going to be the same again as it was before, of course! but as human, this is the time for us to learn for the pass and make our future a better one. Till the next post :) Bye

Terujanya Aku

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya tamatlah sudah pengajianku selama 2 bulan di bandar Technopark, Dubai ini. Saat yang dah lama ku nantikan untuk mengucap selamat tinggal kepada rakan-rakan di sini, instructors yang sporting and cool tahap gaban and semua di sini. Semalam sebelum tidur, ku mahu menikmati keindahan dah keselesaan katil dan bantal empuk yang tersedia di dalam bilik yang ku duduki selama 2 bulan. Ku matikan semua electrik yang ada, lampu dan segalanya kerana aku ingin merasa ketenangan bandar Jumeirah yang tersergam indah di tingkap 7" X 7" sebelahku. Wah sayunya terasa. Ku tersenyum sendirian mengenangkan segala perjalananku dari aku mula menjejakkan kaki ke bandar mewah ini sehingga titik terakhir yang bakal aku lalui hari ini di sini.

Tetapi perasaan ini lebih terasa indah apabila ku terkenangkan orang-orang Malaysia. Oh, aku teruja. Ku lupakan segala tentang negara unta ini dah mula mencari semula bibit-bibit indah bersama mereka di Malaysia yang lebih pasti menyeronokkan dan mendambakan. Ku mula terlihat wajah-wajah keriangan Ebak dan Ibu di lapangan terbang melihatku mengusung beg besar keluar dari pintu ketibaan antarabangsa. Ku bayangkan betapa gembiranya mereka melihatku pulang dengan kejayaan yang aku berani mengatakan "I'm proud of myself and Thank you Allah for the gift, Thank you Ebak Ibu and others for the spirit dan taughts".

Ku cuba menutup mata tapi segalanya mula bermain seperti cakera padat yang lama hilang dimainkan semula. Segalanya indah dan aku benar-benar merasa yang aku sangat beruntung dah Alhamdulillah segala puji bagi Allah yang meminjamkan kenikmatan dunia ini. Akhirnya, ku berjaya mencari ketenangan dah meninggalkan dunia untuk seketika dah mengumpul tenaga untuk hari ini.

Mata ku terbuka, tapi keadaan masih gelap gelita, "eh, what's the time now?" aku berbisik. Ku gapai handphone disebelah kanan, dan jam menunjukkan waktu 5:00am. Ku cuba memejamkan mata dan memaksa diri untuk tidur semula. Tapi tidak kesampaian. Ku bertahan di atas empukkan tilam yang tidak ku tahu jenamanya dan akhirnya aku mangalah pada jam 5:20am. Aku bangun dan untuk pertama kalinya sepanjang berada di Dubai, aku berasa tenang dan relax. Tiada apa yang aku perlu risaukan dan lakukan. Aku terasa keterujaan aku tiada penghujung lagi untuk kali ini.

Seperti norma setiap pagi, ku ambil segelas air dan berdiri di hadapan cermin, ku lihat wajahku, ku senyum dan aku berirama bersama kata-kata ku "You can do it! Let's have fun today may Allah bless my day". Sudah menjadi tabiatku setiap hari. Ku pasti dengan senyuman itu, aku membawa ketenangan bersamanku dan untuk mereka disekeliling. Aku mengadap Ilahi untuk bersyukur dengan peluang yang diberikanNya untukku sekali lagi mencari bekalan untuk Akhirat kelak.

Aku tahu yang aku amat teruja dan tidak sabar rasanya ingin memeluk Ebak Ibu di Malaysia. Dan aku berharap agar perjalanan hari ini dan esok mendapat keredhaan Allah dan di permudahkan segalanya. InsyaAllah.

Malaysia meet you soon. Dubai thanks for the memories and knowledge.

Note: As if this is the only time I'll be in Dubai :p

Merapu

Kalau korang cari gadis mata besar warna biru, kulit putih gebu, badan slim macam sailormoon, korang dah salah blog ni. ehhh? hahaha. Hari ini ari yang sangat bosan sebab terpaksa mengadap technical unit yang tak paham ni. Esok kena set tool dalam lubang sedalam 1803 kaki itu. Wah! Mana saya tau semua ni? saya bukan datang Dubai sebab nak melancong ker? Hahaha tipu jeeewww.

Saya berani mengaku yang saya bukanlah gadis yang lemah gemalai. Oh, kalau kat rumah, saya la yang paling ganas dan kasar. Saya tak main la tengok-tengok cerita Barbie, Sailormoon, Power Puff Girls. Eh, mana tau ni? Korunk jangan la percaya saya yang tengah separa mabuk ni. Bukan sebab minum pon sebab tahap kebosan yang tinggi gaban tak tercapai dek tangan si Luke ni. Mamat sebelah saya yang tinggi melampai 197 cm ni. Saya tinggi sikit je paras pinggang dier.

Berlagak gila nak ukur tinggi, pergh hingat diri tu tinggi sangat la, padahal baru 1 orang je yang saya jumpa rendah dari saya. Yang lain flat tinggi melampai. Wallllla macam Detective Conan yang kecik ngan Conan yang besar tu la. Tak tau la apa nama dier. Waktu kat Labuan, buat kerja, wah jejaka-jejaka yang perasan single dan baik ni masing-masing hulur tangan nak tolong. "Oh Iffah, tak payah buat, kami buat yang tu, Iffah buat Component Inspection je". Eh? saya kena buat CI sampai tua ke, sampai bila pon lembabs nanti. Naik rig, orang suruh run tool, tak reti jawab kat company man "Sorry Sir, I only know how to do the inspection. I know nothing about the tool". Ada yang tang-tang tu gak dapat helicopter free balik darat.

Orang kata perempuan mesti lembut, oh mak, saya lembut ker? Kalau la bakal mak mertua nampak saya kerja macam mana, ada yang reject ni. Mana taknya, angkat pipe wrench 48" tu sebelah tangan je. Hahah ayat orang menipu OK, tak payah laaaa 36" pon dah hoyong hayang ni kan pulak nak angkat tools yang besar kaki gajah tu. Rosak usus tau. Hari tu, waktu jalan kat training center ni, ada sandstorm. Hebak tak, orang kata kalau storm tak payah la berangan nak jalan kat luar. Al maklum la lagi orang kata jangan lagi tu la kita nak buat kan. Reverse psychology kan je dak cam Iffah ni. Eh?? :p Mau saya jalan macam ketam, ke kiri kanan sebab angin kuat giler. Tudung ni kalau tak di pin, dah terbang melayang balik Malaysia ok.

Dapat gak la rasa sandstorm yang sampai pasir pon masuk mulut Alhamdulillah tak masin je. haha pasir padang pasir masin ker? *macam tongue twister plak*. "hujan batu dinegara sendiri, hujan emas dinegara orang, negara sendiri lagi best" saya tak tau la plak cam mana nak guna peribahasa ni sebab tak pernah la plak hujan kat Dubai ni. Dah dekat 2 bulan kat sini. Hujan cat and dog tu je. Takde la plak emas turun. hahaha. Kalau ada, saya bawa balik Malaysia ye :p

Saya rasa la kan blog saya ni boring la kan. Saya ada byk cerita respect la to those yang boleh cerita in writing. Saya ni orang yang banyak mulut so kalau nak cerita i prefer verbally. Tapi at least blog ni blh la jadi tempat lepas perasaan kalau tengah bosan2 ni kan. Eiiiii, tak sabarnya nak balik KL. Nak enjoy then dalam flight pg Labuan baru nak fikir pasal kerja. Hahah rasa tua sgt la, 24 hours pikir kerja ni kan. hehhe. Ok folks, have a great day and till my next boring post :) Daaaa

Berita geram

Hari ini I bukak myMetro online nak baca berita. Penat la hari-hari guna English, rindu plak nak baca berita bahasa melayu. Buka2, nampak gambar peermpuan hot, dah teka dah orang terkenal ataupon model. You can tell from her appearance. Topic berita itu was "Linda tuntut nafkah anak". Ni la bahana kalau baca berita melayu, I ingat cerita pasal orang Malaysia je. Padahal Linda ini supermodel. Eh, malaslah nak cerita panjang2, korunk nak baca cerita dia ngan bekas teman lelaki dier yang kini husband kepada Salma Heyek tu, korunk click sini ye.

Part yang paling shock korunk part mana? "dia menuntut AS$46,000 (RM140,000) sebulan untuk penjagaan anaknya"? ke "Linda juga mempunyai sebuah emper di Chelsea New York dan sebuah apartmen berdekatan sekolah anaknya di kawasan mewah di East"? Haaaa, kalau nak tau I paling shock part "Francois-Henri Pinault mengaku dia memutuskan hubungan dengan supermodel itu setelah mengetahui Linda hamil empat bulan"

Oh, la sedap kau dah rosakkan perempuan tu, kau break sbb dier preggy. Eh, tu kan anak kau. Yang kau buat sebab nafsu. Isk, itu la yang I rasa. Rasa macam nak pergi jumpa Linda ngan Pinault ni, tampar laki tu sekali then kuliah kan si model tu. Jangan sampai nanti bila anak tu dah besar, orang panggil dier bastard, bitch (please forgive my french), diorg rebel sampai benci korunk. Apa la perassan anak tu bila nanti dah besar dier sedar yang dia tu was a mistake yang tak dirancang. Apa la harga diri and value dier pada ibu bapa dier.

Ni yang buat I sakit hati and geram ni tapi at the same time bersyukur that I'm a Muslim. Kenapa Islam haramkan seks diluar pernikahan. Inilah sebabnya. Impact dunia to us yang melakukan dosa tu tak besar but anak2 tu yang jadi mangsa. Bila nafsu dah menguasai diri, kita lupa and kita buat kesilapan *ini kata mereka ye*, bila dah pregnant, nak gugurkan la, nak buang la, nak bunuh anak tu la. Apa la yang korunk pikir ni hah??

Orang yang pilih jalan untuk berkahwin, secara automatic dah ada keinginan jadi ayah dan ibu. So bila si isteri mengandung, kandungan itu tidak langsung dianggap kesilapan. Ya Allah, I really can't imagine apa perassan anak tu kalau dier tau yang dier tu made from a mistake. Sedihnyaaa :(

I know kalau I bg kuliah pon, orang yang takde iman takkan blh terima apa yang kita cuba sampaikan. Walaupon apa yang kita explain is benda yang bukan setakat logic malah terbukti kenapa hubungan seks sebelum kahwin itu HARAM! Hanya agama Islam yang menggariskan kesalahan itu.

Yakinlah, Allah itu pencipta kita, Dia tahu kemampuan dan kekurangan kita. Kalau cara Islam sebenar dipraktikkan, saya yakin 10000% yang perkara seperti anak haram, keruntuhan moral dan segala masalah sosial dapat dibendung. Sedih baca berita ni. Kalaula  I jadi Salma Heyek tu, dah lama dah I tinggalkan jantan keperat (please mind my language) tu. Sbb dia langsung tak bersungguh. Hei manusia, ingat dah mati nanti blh bawa duit masuk kubur ker? Pasti ke kubur korunk nanti terang benderang huh??

Nukilan ini saya tulis untuk anda yang membaca supaya kita ingat yang Islam itu cukup indah. Saya bukan ustazah atau alim ulama. Cuma setakat gadis yang cuba belajar untuk berpegang kepada ajaran Allah :) Saya tak mengharapkan syurga, saya mengharapkan keberkatan Allah pada saya, ibubapa and keluarga saya di dunia dan akhirat. :)

Bersyukurlah kita kepada Allah yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang sbb dilahirkan kita dalam keluarga Islam dan dibesarkan sebagai orang Islam :)

Wassalam

Where's the ball?

Hidup ini macam pelita, kalau takde minyak takde la apinya. Cewahhh hebak dah kite ni tau berperibahasa :p hihihihi. This is my last week here in Dubai. Oh, tak sabar nak balik rumah jumpa Ebak Ibu and the others. Rindu bangat de sama kalian tu. Alhamdulillah mereka selamat pergi dan pulang umrah last month. Nampaknye I sorang je la yang belum menjejakkan kaki ke tanah suci :( Takpe insyaAllah one day ada la rezeki tu kan?

Since ni macam last week kat Dubai, keinginan packing luggage hari ni jugak tu sangat la tinggi. Excited la katakan. budget la packing tu takes a week kan. Padahal 2 jam pon tak sampai. Hahaha. Sekarang ni, ada 2 masalah ngan luggage. 1) takut over weight and 2) takut snow balls tak lepas hand carry. Eh??? terkantoi plak beli apa untuk sourvenir kan :p hahaha.

Nak cerita pasal bola ni, kelakar and nasty gak la. Everytime my classmates ni cerita pasal bola teringat 1 incident yang agak nasty but please dont get me wrong. Incident happen tanpa diduga and disengajakan. Last 2 weeks, waktu kat workshop redressing tool, I kerja ngan sorang Dutch. kitorang work on a 2RH tool yang ada bearing inside. Korang tau kan bearing tu apa? Mula2 I pon tak tau sebabkan dah kena kerja ngan hal2 mechanical ni, terpaksa la tau. Bearing ni, allow rotation. Kalau kita ada bearing, meaning tools kita blh rotate. So bearing basically, bola kecik2 yang diletak in between housing.

Senang cerita, bearing ni bola-bola. Byk bola kecik macam coklat Nips saiz die. So dalam tools tu ada la around 20 balls. Hehe, memandangkan kawan I tu sedang membantu, die pon slide out bearing housing keluar dari tool. Tapi dia tak tau yang ada balls dalam tu, he slided off and all the balls felt out from the housing. Bayangkan steel balls macam nips tu berterabur atas lantai, mau kena kejar satu2 kan. Hahaha.

Nak dijadikan cerita, orang keliling nampak termasuk instructor kitorang. Dia datang tanya "What happen?" and ada la sorang mamat working on the next bench jawab "Oh, he drops his balls". Kalau korang blues korang dah blh tangkap kan? kalau korang blurr, takpe korang mmg innocent :p (iya la tu). At first, I macam tak paham, tapi bila semua orang dah gelak and keep on repeating part he drops his balls tu I pon jadi paham la. Apa lagi gelak macam nak mati la.

Sebabkan I tak bgtau, Dutch friend ni pon pandang I cakap kenapa tak bgtau dier ada balls? la, mana la I tau kan dier tak tau. Ingatkan dier tau. Haha. then, sebab I seorang yang baik (poyokan???), I pon tolong kutip balls tu. Waktu tengah kutip2 tu, I tanya la 'How many balls do you have now?' I didn't mean that nasty ball ok I meant the bearing balls. Kawan I ni pon apa lagi 'Nasty Iffah, asking me how many balls I have, nasty girl! You like it huh when we talk about balls" la pulak, dia yang nasty, I plak yang kena. hahaha tapi serious muka mmg dah tak tahan dah nak gelak waktu tu. Segan pon ada gak.

Waktu kitorang kutip tu, kitorang mencangkung, so dia cakap we need another 7 balls, kami pon mencari la, then I nampak ada 3 bola bawah kaki dia. I nak cakap 'below you' tapi dier macam 'where where?' instead of bangun and cari. So I dah tak tau cam mana nak buat, I tunjukla bawah kaki dier. Al maklumla kan, kami mencangkung, so korang boleh bayang kan la sendiri kan bila kawan I jerit, "Iffaaaaah, don't point there". Ei kotor la bagi I tapi dak2 ni dah biasa, culture diorg kot. hihi

I know this may sounds blue and annoying for some people, tapi bila benda ni jadi, I mula terfikir, I really have to try to be cool with it sebab I will be working with the all man in the workshop, rig even the office. So i can't get rid of it. Yang penting I tak layan kalau diorg melebih2 and over board. As long as benda tu masih boleh diterima akal, I boleh layan kan je.

Ebak

Kematian itu perkara yang nyata. Kita takde kuasa nak menghalang. Di mana sahaja malaikat maut akan tiba untuk mencabut ON TIME! takde delay2.

Teringat kisah a friend of mine, baru jugak kes kematian father dier. Yasmin, I know you're a strong girl :) Keep the faith with you. I nak amik cerita pasal dier. I dont know the whole story tapi from her twitter I rasa I know that her father passed away waktu buat Umrah with the family. Innalillah (dari Allah kita datangm kepada Allah kita kembali).

Looking her tweeting about it makes me remember that I miss Ebak sooooo much. Dah about 2 months tak jumpa Ebak and call sbb I couldn't reach him from here but sometimes dapat jugak la Skype with him :) 5 days to go! Can't wait to be back home.

Ayah, abah, Papa, Papi, Dad, Abi those are the names that we call our fathers. Waktu mereka hidup, kita lupa nak dengar cakap mereka. Kita selalu bagi alasan and ignore advices diorg. Betul kan? Kalau father cakap jangan keluar malam, kita lawan, cakap ayah kita ni old school la. Bila ayah pergi kerja, itu la time paling kita suka sbb takde orang nak marah kita.

Dulu when I was small, I selalu ingat kalau Ebak takde kat rumah, best! Sbb I boleh buat macam-macam. Tapi bila Ebak balik, macam-macam nanti Ebak mintak tolong. Buat ini la buat itu la. This is a true story yang I nak share. *kalau Ebak baca, habisla :p* tapi ini semua dulu ye. I never thought that one day Ebak is my best shoulder. He's always there for me. No man could ever replace him.

Waktu sekolah rendah, after balik sekolah waktu Maghrib, I selalu tidur. Everyday, Bak masuk bilik wake me up and tak bagi I tidur Maghrib. Ebak kata it's not good, waktu tu Syaitan buka sayap dier and semua penyakit spread out. Of course la bila kena kejut bangun, memberontak la kan, merajuk ngan Ebak, nak tak cakap ngan Ebak.

Ebak selalu jadi the man yang will never forget to remind me on anything I do. Waktu kat University, Ebak selalu cakap consistent learning will give you a photogenic mind. I ikut style study Ebak, It works :) He always taught me to be humble. 'Be humble in anything you do with everyone in anytime' he said. And that is the spirit that hold on to.

Yes, Ebak used to be very strict when we were young. waktu tu kita tak paham, my siblings and I pikir ebak nak cage, control, ground kitorang kat rumah. Keluar ngan kawan pon tak blh. Keluar pergi rumah kawan pon tak boleh. Semua tak boleh. Kat KL kot, takkan tak blh? That was what we think before.

But eventually bila dah tua kebangka macam ni, baru I nampak the consequences and I'm happy with what he did to us. Sekarang Ebak dah tak kuasa dah nak bising ngan kitorang not because dier dah malas, but for him we are grown up, we can make our own decision and control ourselves. He taught us enough ngan ilmu agama and ilmu dunis. Both balanced. Now, it's time for us to make it right.

Betul bila orang kata kita akan start appreciate something that we have for so long when it's gone. Lepas masuk UTP and kerja ni, I rasa dah a bit distance from my family. When I'm not a home, anything happen, they don't tell me because they don't want me to worry too much. Bila dah duduk jauh baru I tahu apa yang Ebak buat selama ni, it for our own best. He wants to protect us and that's what a father should do.

Jangan ikutkan sangat budaya barat yang selalu tunjuk parents too control, anak rebel sbb nak freedom at the end, parents yang kena mengalah. That is so wrong. Orang Islam, kita tahu parents have the right. Ayah is the best protector that you can have while you are still single. Betul kan, bila kita keluar and bersosial, bila dah preggy, parents yang lebih malu. Orang tak cakap "Iffah tu ......", they will say "Anak Garib ngan Rohina tu .....". Itulah benda yang I paling takut. I would take the blame for any of my mistakes, not my parents. They've tried and been the best as the can. Cuma kita as anak-anak je yang tak masuk akal.

Waktu kat sekolah bila tulis essay pasal masalah sosial, the main point mesti kita cakap pasal parental guardian kan? kita tahu kuasa ibu bapa tu sangat kuat tapi kita tak pernah nak ikut. Bila parents ground kita, kita marah, kat sekolah kawan2 mocking kita cakap 'Your father tu old school sangat la'. then kita malu sbb we are not like the others. We are wrong! You la yang paling beruntung sbb ada parents yang caring macam  nak giler. Remember family is your best friend. Kawan akan tinggalkan kita bila kita susah, but not our family. Trust in that.

Love your dad while you can and show them how much you love them. Don't be ashamed to say 'I love you' to him. I dulu malu nak msg love you kat Ebak tapi bila dah kerja sorry everytime msg I tulis because I really meant it and I want him to know that he's the best in my world :)

*dedicated to Ebak in Malaysia yang I miss sangat :) He's doing great and fine Alhamdulillah*

p/s: always sedekah Al-fatihah to our parents every night before you go to bed :) Itulah anak yang soleh and solehah.

Where do you work?

I didn't mean to keep it as a secret. I know it's not really a big deal telling people where I work. Some close people know but most of them don't. My life changed drastically when I started my work as an Engineer. I didn't mean to be rude to ignore the question but I dont think it's necessary.

What's the point of telling where I work and what I do? It's my personal life and I have rights in making it silence. I have my own reason. Ultimately, I dont think by telling people where I work will change their perceptions on me. When I go shop around Dubai, people would ask where I am from and then, they will start to ask am I here for work. Next, they'll ask which company. Hahah everytime I hear it, I would just smile and say 'it's a small company. you won't know'.

I dont want to be riak with what I have now. I'm just and ordinary girl that wants to improve myself and live my life to the full. I ain't celebrity, so that doesn't give any point of knowing the truth. I like to keep it because I like to be treat like an average people. I go out with my T-shirt, jeans and flat. That's it. No make up on, perfume, nothing that can make me looks luxury.

I didn't say that I have money, it's just that people like me I dont thing it's my fit and league to buy branded stuffs in branded/expensive shops or spend my money like crazy. I'm very simple. If I were to have money, I personally thing that I would rather save it for other more beneficial things.

Look, you dont have to be so sophicicated talking about Louis Vuitton, Channel, Guess, Mango, Jimmy Choo and other branded stuffs in showing your personality. I have friends that is so into branding. Eventually, you'll look older than your age in those branded items. This is just an opinion. You dont have to believe me if you dont want to.

As human, of course we have desire to look beautiful but hey doesn't mean wearing night market T-shirt make you look ugly. Trust me, when you have branded things on you, you would want people to see you. and realize that, it's a part of being arrogant. It's sinful people.

Life would be more meaningful if you can be normal and ordinary, but nobody knows that you own a company, 2 houses and a great family. Let's remind ourselves that all that we have around is a loan from Allah. These are all His. So, let's work our best to be humble so that everyone around can embrace the standard together :)

-Bye-



Mahu tapi Malu

Atas restu Allah, ku ingin miliki mu, ku berharap kau menjadi yang terakhir bagiku.

Wah sentimental la plak post kali ni kan. hehehe

Itu la cinta yang sebenarnya, cinta atas landasan Allah.

Sekarang ni makin menjadi-jadi plak wedding invitations dari kawan-kawan.

Tapi langsung tak dapat pergi those sbb I'm not in KL.

Kesian my friends smua.

Orang kata kalau kita tak pg wedding orang nanti bila kita kawain, orang pon tak nak datang. Betul ke?

I wanna go tapi selalu salah time especially bila dah start kerja ni, mana I ada time nak fly blk KL to attend :(

Tapi betulla orang kata,

waktu study orang tanya bila nak graduate?

bila dah graduate, orang tanya bila plak nak kawin?

bila dah kawin, orang akan tanya bila nak ada baby?

bila dah ada baby, diorang tanya bila nak tambah?

Betulkan? Soalan yang no ending.

Memandangkan I dah lepas the first question, sekarang soalan kedua plak.

Soalan ni lebih mencabar I think sbb kalau pasal graduation, benda tu hanya melibatkan ourselves alone je kan. And graduation tu benda yang measureable you know when you gonna finish your study.

Tapi soalan pasal kawin ni... Allahuakbar, I paling tak suka. haha

Tak suka because I memang tak blh jawab sekarang.

I hope that I can meet the right man to be my partner.

Memang la I ada interest ngan lelaki tp diorg takde to me.

What can I do.

But at the same time, I nak focus on my career. Logik tak kalau I cakap, I nak boyfriend and career to moves together? urm, macam impossible but it's not actually :p. Maybe orang ingat I dah tua and should be ready to have my own family. Tp I takut sebenarnya with marriage. I takut I'm not ready for it. So I take a safe move to not to think about it. Tapi tipu la kan kalau I cakap I takde intention nak kawin.

Kenapa asyik post pasal kawin je ni??? haha. I semakin hari semakin tua :p so orang around me mesti la cerita pasal their wives. So bila I dgr and they tell me about their kids. I pon nak ada anak sendiri. Eh laaaaa, melampau sgt dah kan topic kita ni.

Ok2, macam ni la. Kalau Allah takdirkan I meet my jodoh sekarang, I redha and I hope I'm making the right choice to tell him to wait for few more years. I need to start my engine dulu before I really ready to settle down. It's not easy to be a wife and at the same time kerja as an Engineer. Kalau I kena pg laut or travel here and there. Takkan nak tinggalkan my husband alone. Kalau nak bawak dier, takkan dier takde kerja lain? So, tu yang hold me back kot.

Since that, I want to take this opportunity to wish Congratulations to my friends for their marriage (even some tak invite I pon *takpe I redha*):

1) Zahar and Lin

2) Ieka Moin and husband

3) Izhar and wife

4) Erna Eliana and husband

5) Mahirah and husband

6) Nadia and husband

May your marriage marks a new and better life ahead. May Allah bless the relationship till Jannah :)