I'm ready what about you?

Alhamdulillah yesterday was the day where I felt like a new born. I made confessions with myself and I'm pretty good in that I think. hahah While talking and confronting my own self, I found out that there are thousands of changes that I need and may need. So i did a great reflection ALONE. It works peeps. You guys should try once.

Now, I put less hopes and expectation instead I'm creating new memories. I kinda like my new self. I had this thought that made me think day and night and it seems a good and noble idea. I used to be the one that tries to make people around me happy and work hard to get some attentions but actually the harder I tried the worse I became. But yesterday made me think, that wasn't what I want. I don't need any attentions I don't need to be known or cared or even talked about that is not me. I'm here in this world to work my very best to do all the good things that I can.

I'm ready for changes. Yeah, really sure and this morning I woke up, I smiled and I felt relief. It was really GREAT. Thanks Almighty. Now, I just have to put my feet together and start to walk on my new chapter in life. This is my sacrifice and I did it. Hope those who are like me will find their true paths. Life is not about getting others to think about you or be friend with thousands of people. These are just bonuses but the ultimate mission is find who you are because for there you'll know who is Allah the most Powerful and the Almighty.

So long peeps.. Enjoy your weekend!

Pain or Die? You choose

When I first step in UTP, I learn something that I've never heard or practiced before. PANADOL! yeah paracetamol in other word is like some of my friends' besties. Peeps those are not your friends, they are you freinemy (friend+enemy). Too many pain killer can kill your body. I'm telling you this because I just had a bad news about a friend of mine who is now suffering in the hospital as one of her lung is out! Now, the doctor is doing some scanning on the other lung in case it is not functioning, then she's dying.

My parents taught me not to take any panadol whenever I have fever or period-pain or headache etc. Those are suppose to be prescriptive medicine. You need to control that or just stop taking one! please I'm begging to all. This is the 2nd time I heard this disease among UTP students. Yes they help you to relief the pain but at the same time they eat your body. Pain is not that bad as to compare to death. Please, pain is just a temporary sickness but death, you'll be making you parents cry and mourn you. I know we can't avoid death but we can try our best to avoid spoiling and damaging our bodies.

SAY NO TO PANADOL! please please please.

the finale

it's finger-counting to the moment where I can call myself the most great senior in UTP (bachelor please). Well not really happy to be the eldest cause people will starts calling me Kakak, heheh as if they didn't before. Whatever. So tomorrow will be the date where I can happily study in UTP cause knowing that I'm leaving it soon in 5 months time. InsyAllah, praying for the best.

As usual I have no awkward or exotic kind of celebrating my last day before new semester starts. So I particularly have no plans in my mind cause all I want to do is enjoying my day unpacking my stuffs and get ready for tomorrow. Wow it sounds scary huh. Yeah but actually I already felt the heat since the past 2 weeks. Boiling my butt in the lab for 6 hours doing my experiments eh telling you this, doing cementing tests are yucks! I don't think that I can do it anymore. I actually sprained my shoulder and arm just to break the cement out from the testing cell. Man that was really hard with this woman-ly power, I can't do it all by myself. I've surrendered yesterday from repeating the tests that is surely won't works. It's just a waste of time.

Ah-ha talking about equipment, you know I hate cementing test equipments! those machines are really dumb (I should call) and they're too sensitive. I just don't know how API standard approved those designs I wish I could re-design and improve those machines and turn those into something better and more practical. haha sorry I'm getting a bit emotional in the lab whenever my tests failed.

ok2, I should continue the unfinished job, removing my things to my actual room. hahah it's just next door anyway. Till next post. So long :)

Karma

How does it feels knowing someone who is really forcing and annoying? Oh man I think I am one. How to get rid of it? I tried several times to not to think about my problems but I can stop pushing myself from letting the truth-spoken. Ya Allah I know that wasn't a good move and I should never ever give a try yesterday. But you know the truth spoke I guess.

How do you actually say to someone that you hate him/her? or how would you arrange your words in letting someone aware that you admire him/her? Don't get me wrong. Hate and Admire can be in thousands meanings! I can feel it right in my bones that I was suppose to wait cause wasn't the good time to spit it anyway.

Well I had this experience avoiding someone yeah because I gets annoyed with him/her. So why the hell I'm trying to be the annoying one? What was in my head? oh this song is really imitating me Thanks for the memories by Fall Out Boy. Yeeehaaaa... 'And I want these words to make things right, but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life' as if this lappy knows my problem. hehe..

Tears? not till that but heart-broken. I'm still a rookie trying to take my hands off from the cookie jar. That's the beauty of life I guess with none I think my life will be dark, dull, too mellow, boring. Ok people let me mourn the gone of the memories. Should I think about it? urgh... I hate these devilish thoughts. ok2 bye friends. So long :) *typing in rush* 

Bukan Disini - SOFAZ

*verse 1
tiba masa untuk ku pergi
melangkah pergi dari sini
tak terlintas di hati ini
untuk menyakiti hatimu lagi


*verse 2
kau tetap di hati
tiada pengganti
maafkanlah kasih
tempatku bukan disini

*chorus
bisakah kau berdiri
tanpaku disisi mu lagi
bisakah kau sendiri
mengubati luka di hati

(repeat)

the DEBATE!

Haha ok since I can now legally vote during the election then I should take these free time to know A LITTLE BIT about these issues. Latest issue, the debate between the Prime Minister and Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim (DSAI). As a democratic country, I think this is a good and healthy progress in Malaysia because at least the citizen will be enlighten on what is actually happening to the country behind the scene.

Not to be on anyone side, I just think that the USA is having kinda great democracy laws and practices where everyone has the right to give their opinions. I watched once DSAI debated with one of the minister back in 2007/2008 on the fuel price. So this time I guess it's going to be a better debate and more informative way off learning and get to know my country better. Haha yeah I admit that I couldn't care less about those but it feels good to know about the political conspiracy and propaganda.

 

The PM should go for the debate. Really he's the leader and leader never says give up or surrender. He should be a good model and example in teaching the young generation how a good leader should act like. I can;t wait to glue my eyes if the debate is so to happen soon. hihi

Ok people, have a great and progressive day. Tomorrow is a public holiday here. Woooowwwweeyyyy! Bye all so long :)

Jan 18, reflection

Iffah's Night Reflection as of 18/01/2011:

Forgiving people is hard but asking for one is not!

Just please stop saying 'Lagikan Nabi Muhammad ampunkan ummat-nya inikan kita manusia biasa' or 'Forgive and forget'. Those are all bullshit! Because it is not easy to forgive others and it is totally hard to just forget it. Prophet Muhammad is perfect but not us, am I right? I learnt few things today. Every single move I made, every single thoughts I think, every single things that happened I just can't keep on lying to myself. I seek for forgiveness but I did get it, people asked for forgiveness but I hardly give it back. So that is how my world turns now.

People say 'What comes around comes all the way back around' but is that true? Maybe for some people it implies perfectly but not ALL. believe me not ALL. There are people outside there that is far way lucky that us. Unfortunately they're not us. Today I've gone through a lot. Man, I wish I can cry to myself and say 'YOU DESERVE THAT IFFAH'. Things are coming back to me now.

Today wasn't the best day in my life when I lost one of my pants and my lab test was a failure. Till at one time I shouted 'Ya Allah, what did I do wrong?'. I know I deserved those. My life is really a mess right now. Don't talk about LUCKY because I never had once. Here I just wanna share some facebook comments that I feel attracted to this;

names and pictures are censored due to privacy and sensitivity

I think that this lady is hardly forgiving her friend. Maybe it is too hurtful for her to swallow those mistakes. At a certain point, I think I can be in both position, the person seeking for apologize and the person to give apologize. Well, honestly I don't know how to response on that and we're human we make mistakes and the more mistakes you're making the better you'll learn. It is just, get the right person to learn that mistake.

There goes my reflection of the night. Till next post all. So long :)

Why scared?

I'm scared. Scared of letting myself fail with something that my irrational heart wants. This brain inside me can't stop telling 'It's ok, you've tried your best and you asked for one. Just let the time shows the future'. But it is the other way round in my heart. It tells me to wait and wait, then try and try. Never stop trying. I thought (using brain) it suppose to be the other way round right? hahha weird me!

So I let me heart leads the way, I tried again for the second round and AGAIN I failed! I hate this pushing and forcing attitude in me but that is just me I tried to change but I just don't feel me to stop trying and put no effort in life. When someone hates you, what would you do? Ok2, let make it clearer. Think about this, You've done something wrong and you've seek for forgiveness, but it just don't feels right because you don't feel easy with it even he/she said 'you've done nothing wrong'. It keeps on playing and ranting into your head.

People say 'Stop forcing, let the flow works on its own' (my dad loves to say this. haha) so I let it, it's like repairing a clog, you pump all the water and let the water tap flow, then you flooded the whole room. I just don't want poeple to hate me for what I've done unintentionally. I feel really bad and I try too change myself here OK but will I get the second opportunity? Urgh to myself, I never thought that I would have to go this over and over again. I wish sometimes that I can be a zombie. Less to think, Less to hold, Less to cope, Easier life.

Stephen Covey said 'Strength lies in differences, not in similarities' so I take that differences are something that you should have in any relationship and similarities will only help to make it real. Haha that's how I interpret the quotes. Sorry if I'm wrong. I remembered once Dr Fadzillah Kamsah said 'In any relationship (friendship is included), if there are too many similarities, it'll be bored but if there are too many differences, it'll be a war! So balance those is want you need in a relationship'.

Well, I think I'm getting over this issue, before it gets worst, I just wanna say that NOW I'm scared if YOU hate me and I'll freak out if YOU don't. So long pals :)

Loft is not Attic

When people race for money to meet their needs and necessaries they tend to forget the future. Yeah I'm not denying it, that is just too common and typical. But when you think back chasing those luxuries really make people insane and irrational.

When you have your very first touch on your salary, what will be 'vroom-ing' into you head? A car! yeah I know many one-night-millionaire proved that hahah. Car, they spent hundred grants to buy a luxury car in CASH. BMW, Jaguar, Audi, Mercedes, Volkswagen,  some even dreaming of owning a Ferrari. Wow living like heaven to drive those car soon. But after 3 years, they'll sell those cars to buy a brand new car because they can't stand the high maintenance of those assets.

I have some seniors that I know, they bought new cars when they had their first income but now they are in debt and troubles in buying a house. Isn't a house is more valuable these days? I bet it is a little bit harder to find a reasonable house in Malaysia. So at the end of it they have a car but renting house instead of owning one. Not saying that car is not a priority but should go for the cheaper, simpler and lower maintenance first.

House is a good investment cause the value will keep on increasing by years unlike those cars. I see that's the different between Chinese and Malay in Malaysia, sorry I'm not criticizing or complaining but this is the fact. Chinese are good in investing, they seem to be poor or average but they own hundred grams of gold bars, own few houses that they rent to others. In Shah Alam for instance most of the MSU students are renting the houses owned by Chinese.

Well I see there are some bright futures in everyone eyes, lets make an improvement and don't let the desires block our rationality and clog our minds from being intelligent. All the best to us and cheer. Till next post, So long :)

True Color

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember when
I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
Just call me up
Cuz you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

http://www.elyrics.net/read/p/phil-collins-lyrics/true-colors-lyrics.html 

Zizan and Pak Nil

Urm, I heard that there is something happen between Zizan Raja Lawak and Aznil Haji Nawawi. I'm still blur and unsure about the issue buy I can tell you it was bad. I read some comments in both celebrities' tweeter and I think Zizan made a very big mistake when he made fun of Pak Nil's name. He called him Aznil Nawawa instead of Aznil Nawawi.

Pak Nil sounded unhappy and kinda angry with that because for him it wasn't a joke when you start fooling around with other people dad's name. Kinda agree with him. I don't really like people to spell my dad's name Gharib because my dad is Garib not Gharib

For Zizan, I think sometimes jokes come with limitation. Making jokes are good but remember it can kills you too. I used to be in this position when I made fun of someone's language (wasn't my intention honestly). Well, that was a mistake and kinda hate myself doing it because till now I can't put humpty dumpty together back again. Jokes are jokes but people's sensitivity is a point too. Maybe there's no intention but you made the mistake seek for forgiveness before it is too late.

Moral of the value: Kerana mulut badan binasa. Saya pon pernah berada dalam kedua-dua posisi so I'm on the fence but hope Zizan and Pak Nil can settle this between them ASAP cause I'm a fan of these both awesome jokers! 

Where are those gentlemen?

Not to criticize nor complain about most of the typical Malay guys in Malaysia but I just couldn't find more gentlemen these days. Haha sorry no offense, this statement is based on my observation as a typical Malay too. Unlike some Chinese and Indian in Malaysia they are more protective and helpful. I know I shouldn't make this post because maybe there are people who will feel offense about it. Please don't get me wrong I just want to reasoning my thoughts.

Maybe I watched too much Western movies. These made me think 'Isn't it good if there is _(character's name)_ in Malaysia'. When I asked some guys on how do they interpret gentlemen, common answers are to have a good looking face, good smell, good car, power in words, Idaman Malaya and others. hahaha ok those are all materials and physical appearances. Prophet Muhammad for instance, he's a gentlemen but he has no car or materials, he only has a good heart. He help people regardless a man or a lady, old or young.

Some men would also think himself a gentleman if he acted, helpful and soft-spoken to a lady. Haha they think they are but they aren't. Gentleman should not only be good to a woman but be good with his friends regardless their genders, good to their families and parents, good to their surroundings, honest in their speak, soft (not to be like a girl but easy to talk and discuss with), avoid bad words in conversation, cool with any problems faced. Anyway this is only how I think a gentleman should have.

Please again no offense to anyone but seriously where on earth does gentlemen in Malaysia gone? Don't have to act like those in the movies or Western films (raining speech or too many compliment) and yeah just be yourself in a positive way. Bad attitudes even their are yourself, just keep them silently in you and try to kick them out. hehe OK GUYS, have fun putting some 'gentlemen' actions in your days. Most important thing is 'It's is better trying then doing nothing and Don't over doing it, make small changes and let the flow brings you'

So long :)

Consistometer

It is so frustrating to keep on failing conducting A test. Again A represents singular means only one test. Yet 8 more tests left and I'm running out of time. 3 days spent in the lab and only 1 in progress while the others pending. Man man man... Hahha chill Iffah it's not the end of the world.

Yesterday, I went to the lab with a humongous hope that I'll be able to test my cement composition at 7000 psi and 350 Fahrenheit yeah too high I know. It really scares me off ok, with Bismillah I started my lab work mixed all the additives and poured in the test cell. Let's to this! (myself talking to myself). Point 5 stated Turn the MOTOR ON. What? it's not turning? oh my oh my. I mixed my cement and now the motor is not functioning. So lastly, I disassemble the cell and do some cleaning and greasing with hope that today will be a brighter day for me.

So this morning I wore my shoe and off I go to the lab. With higher confidence, I assembled the cell and tried the motor. It works! Alhamdullilah at last I can use this consistometer. So i mixed my composition and poured it, engage the cell into the equipment as per instructed and POOOOOF it works!

After 2 hours testing, I started to wondering the machine should alarm me when the consistency reached 30 Bc but it wasn't. I called up some experts in the lab and they checked it but all they can say to me 'STOP THE TEST, AFTER LUNCH CHECK THE PROBLEM AND REDO IT' What the ......???? I've spent almost 4 hours in the lab and I have to re-mix and re-test the composition. Man... so after lunch I decided to clean the cell and re-test it tomorrow. OFFICIALLY I failed for the 2nd time. Yeeehaaaa...

Ok so all I can think now is 'will I make the test happen tomorrow? Will I ever gonna get the thickening time tomorrow?' hahha what a day! Exhausted people... but don worry a consistometer expert is in the making. till next post! so long and daaaaaaaaaa!

Anugerah Juara Lagu 26

Yucks to the winners! hahah ok that was my response towards the result of AJL. How on earth do 'Noktah Cinta' and 'Tolong Ingatkan Aku' are in the top 3. Euuuuuw!!! not my taste. Haha ok2, I think Ana won because of those wordings in her song. Honestly the song is expressing a great massage but I hate it because I don't understand her sing/pronoun. Can't hear clearly. With the combination of M Nasir, Habsah Hassan and Pacai haha I bet they love those poetry wordings, so she won. And not to forget her performance yesterday was a no-no. Didn't impress me much with those cages and so called 'a magic show'. Sorry Ana for the comments but you won and congrats!

Hafiz, urm urm urm urm I'm actually thinking where is the specialty of that song that melted the judges' hearts. Ajai booo to him don't really love his song writing. They sounded like copyrighted from others. But a great compliment to Hafiz for his vokal and performance. The hiatus was really a great gimmick, you made people in the stadium shouted hahha. The song was a little bit common, nothing special but you won at least it's yours anyway. Congratz to you and the composers!

'Hanyut' was a darn great awesome bomb song and performance. To me, Faizal Tahir is still the winner!!!! no one can really replace his creativity and uniqueness. He comes in package, great in everything it seems like a perfect creation (smart performance, awesome vokal, fresh songs, everything!) haha. CONGRATS MAN! you're still the best..

My prediction was a mess! Haha I thought Yuna can win one of the place because her song was great even it was a bit slow but the song is DIFFERENT! Urm but she won last year so I guess that is how they keep the prestigious. Giving those to the newbies. Next year AJL my vote goes to the 'Kalu Berpacaran' by Suhaimi Mior Hassan feat Ana Rafalli and Altimet. The song brings a different massage and align with the current issue in Malaysia.

Bye for now all. till next post. So long :)

melancholic beast

if beauty is everything in this world... then just go to HELL with it! If friendship is only for fun and to be attractive or fame... then just FORGET about it!

This is the REALITY

When we make decisions do we really think about the consequences or we made those based on emotions which rarely rational? I'm an observer everyday I see people waking up and putting hope that it's going to be a great day. I'm not denying that I crave hopes too but I keep on telling myself what if I can turn back the time? That just indirectly show I wish I can be in yesterday time and correct what I've done wrong. Will I keep on making the same mistakes over and over again?

I watched dramas and all I see is fortunate people living in the life that they wish for. Wooohoooo isn't that is a mellow world to live in. Haha ok those are movies and dramas they are unreal at all. Those are based on human-creation-world and happy ending is what we always want from. Magics, fantasies, coincidences, aren't they cool? Yeah of course they are!

But whatever it is hopes create dreams, dreams enhance motivations, motivations mold actions and actions make a better person. As humans lets put our hands together and pray for a better life. Anyway, Pray is not symbolizes weak but it shows that we know there is a higher power that control this world. Believe one thing friends, God does exist even sometime He ignores your prayers, you say He can make a better world but He didn't. Yes that is because God gave us brain to think and give efforts instead of just surrender and give up. So long people :)

P/S: Dentists are full in Ampang. They really make money... Congratulations Ampang-ian for the good dental care practices.

A1 - One More Try

Rational-Sacrifice

This is a story of a boy, I try to make it is my own words

Have you ever feel fed-up with your parents? You cried for them and care too much for them but all you have is sadness from them? How actually can we confront them and telling that you are tired with how they treat you. You try your best to make them happy, you made yourself useful to them while you can, you hate those who hurt them, you want to be the best kids that they have but all you've got is only an annoying feeling and words.

Parents are like everything to us but all you can see is they care too much to your other sisters/brothers and all they see from you is burden. Which is worst? A son cries for his parents or A father cries for his son? You ask that to yourself. Making its right is so hard I know, I saw few families who are not complete and my sympathy goes to them.

Parents, we as sons and daughters we ask no much from you, we just want you to be fair and show your love equally. Making you proud is our ultimate mission cause we know that those can make you smile and tell the whole world that you're fine and happy. Tears by tears soothing through our cheeks but we are confuse should we be rude to you or just keep the pain inside. We're the shoulders and we're the hand that could hold you when you need one. They are the one that you washed and cared 20 years ago. We missed your laughs, your cheers, your care and even your happy-cry for us. Where else can we go?

Dedicated to all fathers and mothers outside. Thanks to XXXXX for the story. Hope you'll be find :) No matter how bad they are, we have their blood and flesh. Make them happy while we can even that needs sacrifices

Pick that up!

What is happening to Malaysia? I honestly don't know. What can I say citizen has no right in raising their voices and opinions directly to the government. I know it is bad to talk about the government by why can't the citizen stand up for their rights like in the State? I thought this is a democratic country. Where is our rights???

This triggered me when the 'generous' government of Malaysia today announce that the price of fuel will be RM 2.40 tomorrow (increase RM 0.10 from Dec 2010 price). Down here is the chart that shows how 'HEALTHY' the price is!

I'm pissed and wildly disagree with this because I wonder where is all the money goes? My parents pay their income taxes and most of the workers did not get their 6-months bonuses (some are cut to only 3 months below). Are we going to be the next India and Indonesia. Sorry, no offense by lets think together we pay taxes but the country is still lack behind thousands times, rich people become richer while the poor left in poverty, the gap is getting wider. Is this the reason why we should be proud to be a Malaysian, just because we are multi-races that does not show we are prosperous.

Sorry for the wild words but I just don't see the healthy-living life in Malaysia and I'm proudly say that I against the plan of building the 100 stores (Bangunan Warisan so called by the Prime Minister)! What is the rationality of having that but more people die in poverty, poor people can't send their kids to school, unfortunate pecople unable to pay the critical operation cost. Think about this. Ini bukan memajukan bangsa Melayu tapi melemahkan dan memundurkan orang Malaysia.

2010 is over!

10, 9, 7, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! That was the countdown that I missed last couple of days ago. Haha unfortunate for me because there is no big celebration and fireworks in Johore Bahru. Ok, 2010 just left us and giving 2011 the way to be with us for the next 365 days. More challenges and memories will be down the lane for us.

I'm gonna miss 2010 and hope for the best in 2011. Nothing much can be cried on, laughed off or regret for because all we left are memories and experiences that made us the person who we are now. 

What were happen in 2010 are a wake up call for everyone that we should be prepared that we are getting older and one step closer to the end of the day. Natural disasters and tragic accidents all over the world happened in a blink of an eye sacrificed thousands of life. Together lets make those as a reminder that the day is coming and are we really ready to face it

Lets pray for the best and hope that 2011 will be better and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all. So long :)