It would be easier

I was in my drying room alone standing looking at what shall I wear today. Just then I realized that it has been a long time I didn't write. I do miss it I know but I just couldn't find a fine time to spend in front the keyboard.

Just so to know I'm now in Oklahoma City, USA. Yeah pretty insane to stay out from your own country alone. Gotta survive though here for 2 years. A.L.O.N.E. You've heard when people say "One good way to make you forget is to make yourself busy". One good quote that I shall keep it in my mind. So that I can remember less that I'm missing Malaysia.

However, how on earth can I put myself in activities 24-7 around the clock? It's like very impossible. I just found out about it few minutes ago though. You at least want time for yourself to be alone in your own very space with no one nothing to be a disturbance to your peace. That's what actually happening to me. I choose to not to go to Norman, Oklahoma City just to spare time for myself to rejuvenate and flash things that I've done for the past 3 months.

Not my new year resolution which yeah "HAPPY NEW YEAR". Hope it's not to late to wish your great people. But it was a memory that I chose not to erase out even it hurts painfully to myself. When I say I was not a good girl last 3 months, I really meant it. I know I should've gone through with my feeling but I unconsciously hurting my own self.

My sister once told me that I'm not good in making decision at all, last time I check I made the wrong choice in life again. Till when will I actually gonna stop making fool of my own self? I have no idea at all on how to change it or stop making one. I'm the Queen of mistake.

Girls, I'm sure you've experience crushing onto a boy. Have you ever think that he is the right one or will he be the choice you'll make if you are a level matured then now? Will he be the guy who is going to take care of you till the rest of your life? build a family together? Be with your daughter to her dancing class, be with your son to his soccer game or be with you to do dishes at home. He could be anyone around you, he could be the one that has been sitting in front of you, he could be the one that is miles away from you, he could be someone's boyfriend, fiancee or even husband.

Don't you people think that it would be easier to be brave enough to confront and confess to the person that you have crush on. Regardless of what he'll response to as long as you spill it out and he make the choices. Secrets are burdens. We burden our balls to keep our tongues and be scared to be rejected. We afraid people would call us whores or bitches to fall for someone's man.

Hurm, something to think about how to make life easier and simpler. We keep make mistakes to grow up and move forward in this world. Be scared and be brave. You choose caused I've made mine. Later

Have a great day/evening/weekend/week :)