Ebak

Kematian itu perkara yang nyata. Kita takde kuasa nak menghalang. Di mana sahaja malaikat maut akan tiba untuk mencabut ON TIME! takde delay2.

Teringat kisah a friend of mine, baru jugak kes kematian father dier. Yasmin, I know you're a strong girl :) Keep the faith with you. I nak amik cerita pasal dier. I dont know the whole story tapi from her twitter I rasa I know that her father passed away waktu buat Umrah with the family. Innalillah (dari Allah kita datangm kepada Allah kita kembali).

Looking her tweeting about it makes me remember that I miss Ebak sooooo much. Dah about 2 months tak jumpa Ebak and call sbb I couldn't reach him from here but sometimes dapat jugak la Skype with him :) 5 days to go! Can't wait to be back home.

Ayah, abah, Papa, Papi, Dad, Abi those are the names that we call our fathers. Waktu mereka hidup, kita lupa nak dengar cakap mereka. Kita selalu bagi alasan and ignore advices diorg. Betul kan? Kalau father cakap jangan keluar malam, kita lawan, cakap ayah kita ni old school la. Bila ayah pergi kerja, itu la time paling kita suka sbb takde orang nak marah kita.

Dulu when I was small, I selalu ingat kalau Ebak takde kat rumah, best! Sbb I boleh buat macam-macam. Tapi bila Ebak balik, macam-macam nanti Ebak mintak tolong. Buat ini la buat itu la. This is a true story yang I nak share. *kalau Ebak baca, habisla :p* tapi ini semua dulu ye. I never thought that one day Ebak is my best shoulder. He's always there for me. No man could ever replace him.

Waktu sekolah rendah, after balik sekolah waktu Maghrib, I selalu tidur. Everyday, Bak masuk bilik wake me up and tak bagi I tidur Maghrib. Ebak kata it's not good, waktu tu Syaitan buka sayap dier and semua penyakit spread out. Of course la bila kena kejut bangun, memberontak la kan, merajuk ngan Ebak, nak tak cakap ngan Ebak.

Ebak selalu jadi the man yang will never forget to remind me on anything I do. Waktu kat University, Ebak selalu cakap consistent learning will give you a photogenic mind. I ikut style study Ebak, It works :) He always taught me to be humble. 'Be humble in anything you do with everyone in anytime' he said. And that is the spirit that hold on to.

Yes, Ebak used to be very strict when we were young. waktu tu kita tak paham, my siblings and I pikir ebak nak cage, control, ground kitorang kat rumah. Keluar ngan kawan pon tak blh. Keluar pergi rumah kawan pon tak boleh. Semua tak boleh. Kat KL kot, takkan tak blh? That was what we think before.

But eventually bila dah tua kebangka macam ni, baru I nampak the consequences and I'm happy with what he did to us. Sekarang Ebak dah tak kuasa dah nak bising ngan kitorang not because dier dah malas, but for him we are grown up, we can make our own decision and control ourselves. He taught us enough ngan ilmu agama and ilmu dunis. Both balanced. Now, it's time for us to make it right.

Betul bila orang kata kita akan start appreciate something that we have for so long when it's gone. Lepas masuk UTP and kerja ni, I rasa dah a bit distance from my family. When I'm not a home, anything happen, they don't tell me because they don't want me to worry too much. Bila dah duduk jauh baru I tahu apa yang Ebak buat selama ni, it for our own best. He wants to protect us and that's what a father should do.

Jangan ikutkan sangat budaya barat yang selalu tunjuk parents too control, anak rebel sbb nak freedom at the end, parents yang kena mengalah. That is so wrong. Orang Islam, kita tahu parents have the right. Ayah is the best protector that you can have while you are still single. Betul kan, bila kita keluar and bersosial, bila dah preggy, parents yang lebih malu. Orang tak cakap "Iffah tu ......", they will say "Anak Garib ngan Rohina tu .....". Itulah benda yang I paling takut. I would take the blame for any of my mistakes, not my parents. They've tried and been the best as the can. Cuma kita as anak-anak je yang tak masuk akal.

Waktu kat sekolah bila tulis essay pasal masalah sosial, the main point mesti kita cakap pasal parental guardian kan? kita tahu kuasa ibu bapa tu sangat kuat tapi kita tak pernah nak ikut. Bila parents ground kita, kita marah, kat sekolah kawan2 mocking kita cakap 'Your father tu old school sangat la'. then kita malu sbb we are not like the others. We are wrong! You la yang paling beruntung sbb ada parents yang caring macam  nak giler. Remember family is your best friend. Kawan akan tinggalkan kita bila kita susah, but not our family. Trust in that.

Love your dad while you can and show them how much you love them. Don't be ashamed to say 'I love you' to him. I dulu malu nak msg love you kat Ebak tapi bila dah kerja sorry everytime msg I tulis because I really meant it and I want him to know that he's the best in my world :)

*dedicated to Ebak in Malaysia yang I miss sangat :) He's doing great and fine Alhamdulillah*

p/s: always sedekah Al-fatihah to our parents every night before you go to bed :) Itulah anak yang soleh and solehah.

Where do you work?

I didn't mean to keep it as a secret. I know it's not really a big deal telling people where I work. Some close people know but most of them don't. My life changed drastically when I started my work as an Engineer. I didn't mean to be rude to ignore the question but I dont think it's necessary.

What's the point of telling where I work and what I do? It's my personal life and I have rights in making it silence. I have my own reason. Ultimately, I dont think by telling people where I work will change their perceptions on me. When I go shop around Dubai, people would ask where I am from and then, they will start to ask am I here for work. Next, they'll ask which company. Hahah everytime I hear it, I would just smile and say 'it's a small company. you won't know'.

I dont want to be riak with what I have now. I'm just and ordinary girl that wants to improve myself and live my life to the full. I ain't celebrity, so that doesn't give any point of knowing the truth. I like to keep it because I like to be treat like an average people. I go out with my T-shirt, jeans and flat. That's it. No make up on, perfume, nothing that can make me looks luxury.

I didn't say that I have money, it's just that people like me I dont thing it's my fit and league to buy branded stuffs in branded/expensive shops or spend my money like crazy. I'm very simple. If I were to have money, I personally thing that I would rather save it for other more beneficial things.

Look, you dont have to be so sophicicated talking about Louis Vuitton, Channel, Guess, Mango, Jimmy Choo and other branded stuffs in showing your personality. I have friends that is so into branding. Eventually, you'll look older than your age in those branded items. This is just an opinion. You dont have to believe me if you dont want to.

As human, of course we have desire to look beautiful but hey doesn't mean wearing night market T-shirt make you look ugly. Trust me, when you have branded things on you, you would want people to see you. and realize that, it's a part of being arrogant. It's sinful people.

Life would be more meaningful if you can be normal and ordinary, but nobody knows that you own a company, 2 houses and a great family. Let's remind ourselves that all that we have around is a loan from Allah. These are all His. So, let's work our best to be humble so that everyone around can embrace the standard together :)

-Bye-



Mahu tapi Malu

Atas restu Allah, ku ingin miliki mu, ku berharap kau menjadi yang terakhir bagiku.

Wah sentimental la plak post kali ni kan. hehehe

Itu la cinta yang sebenarnya, cinta atas landasan Allah.

Sekarang ni makin menjadi-jadi plak wedding invitations dari kawan-kawan.

Tapi langsung tak dapat pergi those sbb I'm not in KL.

Kesian my friends smua.

Orang kata kalau kita tak pg wedding orang nanti bila kita kawain, orang pon tak nak datang. Betul ke?

I wanna go tapi selalu salah time especially bila dah start kerja ni, mana I ada time nak fly blk KL to attend :(

Tapi betulla orang kata,

waktu study orang tanya bila nak graduate?

bila dah graduate, orang tanya bila plak nak kawin?

bila dah kawin, orang akan tanya bila nak ada baby?

bila dah ada baby, diorang tanya bila nak tambah?

Betulkan? Soalan yang no ending.

Memandangkan I dah lepas the first question, sekarang soalan kedua plak.

Soalan ni lebih mencabar I think sbb kalau pasal graduation, benda tu hanya melibatkan ourselves alone je kan. And graduation tu benda yang measureable you know when you gonna finish your study.

Tapi soalan pasal kawin ni... Allahuakbar, I paling tak suka. haha

Tak suka because I memang tak blh jawab sekarang.

I hope that I can meet the right man to be my partner.

Memang la I ada interest ngan lelaki tp diorg takde to me.

What can I do.

But at the same time, I nak focus on my career. Logik tak kalau I cakap, I nak boyfriend and career to moves together? urm, macam impossible but it's not actually :p. Maybe orang ingat I dah tua and should be ready to have my own family. Tp I takut sebenarnya with marriage. I takut I'm not ready for it. So I take a safe move to not to think about it. Tapi tipu la kan kalau I cakap I takde intention nak kawin.

Kenapa asyik post pasal kawin je ni??? haha. I semakin hari semakin tua :p so orang around me mesti la cerita pasal their wives. So bila I dgr and they tell me about their kids. I pon nak ada anak sendiri. Eh laaaaa, melampau sgt dah kan topic kita ni.

Ok2, macam ni la. Kalau Allah takdirkan I meet my jodoh sekarang, I redha and I hope I'm making the right choice to tell him to wait for few more years. I need to start my engine dulu before I really ready to settle down. It's not easy to be a wife and at the same time kerja as an Engineer. Kalau I kena pg laut or travel here and there. Takkan nak tinggalkan my husband alone. Kalau nak bawak dier, takkan dier takde kerja lain? So, tu yang hold me back kot.

Since that, I want to take this opportunity to wish Congratulations to my friends for their marriage (even some tak invite I pon *takpe I redha*):

1) Zahar and Lin

2) Ieka Moin and husband

3) Izhar and wife

4) Erna Eliana and husband

5) Mahirah and husband

6) Nadia and husband

May your marriage marks a new and better life ahead. May Allah bless the relationship till Jannah :)

Dear Future Hubby,

I know we are yet to meet and know each other. I hope that you're doing good now, then and forever. Maybe one fine day, we'll find each others heart and at that time we are ready for the next life. You know you have to wait for me, I just need couple years to build my own life and enjoy the moment as a 'single lady'.


Just a head up for you, after married, I need your bless to proceed with my career. I know a good wife will stay at home taking care of the family and do the house jobs. But that just not me, I will try my best to be a good mother and wife in the house and at the same time good employee to my company.

If possible, I really want to spend our weekend with our parents. The first and third weekend of the month with your parents while the second of fourth weekend with my parents. It may sounds irrational but I know we can do it!

I grew up in a middle class family and I want my kids to be treated the same way. I don't want to expose them with all the luxuries and easy life even we can afford those. I don't want them to spend time with the games and expensive stuffs. I would prefer we spend valuable time together as a family like jogging, outing, etc than them spending their weekend with the friends. Not to cage them in the house but I think we have the power/right to make their time more valuable.

You can give the names to our babies. I'm ok with it as long as it brings good meaning. I hope you can help me with the household though as you know I only have 2 hands and if I have to prepare meals, and baby cries, I hope you can help me with that. At night, when the baby is awake, I hope you don't keep yourself stiff on the bed or continue with your snore. I want the kids to be close with you too. Bath them, feed them and even change their diapers :p if you know what I mean.

If we want to make the marriage works, we need to communicate alot. I don't want to control your life. As in return, I will try my best to be your eyes if you're blind, you're ear if you're deaf, you're arms and legs if you're tired. I will be the best shoulder that you need. I will be standing right next to you for the rest my life.

I'm not asking you to be perfect for me but I just want you to try your best to the a good son to our parents, good daddy to my kids and good husband to me. I want us to complete each other and work to improve ourselves. You can always tell me what to do and what not. You can ask me to help you. You can scold me if I do wrong, You can tell me to keep quiet if I go overboard. I really want to be weak sometimes around you. That's what a girl want, a protection and shades everytime we're down.

I don't want to mortify you will all the responsibilities. Give me another 3-4 years on the road for me to be fully ready to settle down. If you can wait, you're looking at the right me but if you can't, maybe we are not the one. Cheerios :)

Yours sincerely truly faithfully,

Me

High End Market

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Do you shout like I shout when you see leather stuffs? Yeah I'm talking about Handbags and Shoes, you clever people. My passion, my interest! Hey hey hey I'm still a girl deep down in me.

Since I'm in Dubai I wish that I can grab a leather jacket (my wishlist). I wish yeeeee not want :p *beza kah?haha* Don't talk to me about the price. I know I know! Crazy huh? I'm crazy with these dry hard smell material. Last Thursday I went to a night market along the Dubai  beach. An insane street at night . I feel like belong to the elite community for once. Very very very elite! With ferrari as my ride, Hilton as my house. Ok2. It was just a thought.

So I went to the night market. So not like Malaysia. This is a high class market selling clothes at AED 400, handbags at AED 200. Not cheap SOOOO NOT! hahaha. Of course I should have expect that right?

So what impressed me was we found a stall selling leather bags. Oh my Gucci, macam stail fazurra dalam pisau cukur tu. But I'm not a pisau cukur OK. No one yang boleh cukur for now *wah gtu* so I tak beli :p hahah mahal kot geng. I like 1 bag, orange pinkish mmg kalau I pakai nampak muda always! haha. Wahat can I say since the price was as high as my per diem, I decided to tutup mata, hang the bag balik and walk away. Sampai tak sanggup nak amik gambar dia. Sbb kalau I amik nanti teringat2.

Imagine how I feel waktu letak balik bag tu, Ya Allah, mengalahkan Datin Wanabe, siap letak tangan kat dahi, jeling beg tu and ahhhhh melepas. Sampai extreme macam tu. Percaya? :p

So I pon jalan lagi, cantik tempat tu, cantik sbb tak sangka ada gak pasar bayang aka pasar tani aka pasar malam aka bazaar aka pasar gelap *ehhh?* kat Dubai ni.

So kalau ikut hati la kan macam2 dah aku grab *tibak tu mode*. Hari tu jumpa leather jacket kat Mango. Seriously I buta brand ok. Aku lagi suka pakai baju yang murah atau jumble dari pakai baju yang mahal2 tp rupenya macam baju murah. Kat kedai2 gah ni, bayangkan la, T-shirt nak lunyai plain color tu diorg jual AED 30. Mak ai boleh beli AED 5 je kot kat Gold Souk ngan Old Souk tu. Buat apa nak bazir beli baju camtu? *ayat org frust mengonggeng kan?*

Kat Malaysia, tak terpikir pon nak masuk kedai2 camtu sbb kedai murah2 melambak kat malls. Tp kat sini high end sangat so nak tak nak terjah masuk gak la kan. Alhamdulillah Ebak Ibu tak ajar beli barang2 branded BYK sgt. tak dipractikkan la org kata. Keinginan manusia mmg la ada but tak tercapai dek akal lagi nak beli.

Tapi there was this thing yang I wish I can buy. T-shirt itu bodoh2 je but with sticker yang sound sensitive. Siap ada lampu2. Bayangkan, korunk jalan, baju korunk menyala2 bila detect sound. Pergh gempak sih, I was looking at the T-shirt dengan harapan boleh beli kalau murah. Tp AED 160. Waktu tu dalam poket ada AED 100 cukup2 nak beli sourvenir untuk orang Malaysia. Tu kalau nak cakap mmg worthy with the price. Mmg cun baju dak kecik, detect touch. Kalau kita sentuh gambar animal kat baju tu, dier menyala2. Pergh korunk blh bayangkan kan???

Memadangkan dah almost 6 weeks kat sini, banyak benda blh update ngan time yang ada sikit2. korunk tunggu la lagi bebelanku ni in the next post ye. Penat dah nak type :p

Bye :)

Show-off is USELESS

I close my eyes every night with full hopes and dreams. yeah yeah yeah irony huh? hahaha whatever. Oh yeah do you know that whatever has been voted the most annoying word on the year for already 3 years consecutively? hihi over-read that in twitter :p

As I create my own world of fantasy, I always want the life to be easy and beutiful everywhere everything. Ebak will never forget to advice me that hopes and dreams can be 2 things an inspiration or disaster. Tell me if he is wrong.

When I was a kid, I always imagine to be a the top ALWAYS! but the more I think about it, the more I roll myself down. I think I know why, it's because when you want to be the best sometimes you just forget that you own nothing in this world. It's all Allah's. I start to become irrational with my mission on life. I start to get arrogant with what I have.

I wanted everything to be as what I want it to be. I forced myself to be PERFECT and for me people around who are not like me are irritating. I start to drown in my disrespectful life for a couple of years. I always wanted to be the best not because I want it for myself but I want to show the world that I am better than what they thought I am.

After high school, I wanted to study abroad because I want to show those people who look down at me that I can be successfull more than them. Hahah Irony irony irony. To be honest I really hate the devilish thought NOW. Missions are to be made with rationality and bless. You can never achieved what you what if you have the sense to 'show-off'.

All my devil plans crashed not because I cannot do it but Allah doesn't allow those to happen. Or else I guess I won't THIS Iffah Garib. I know most off us outside there have your own stories that change you from a good person to worse just to shut the bad mouths around you. As for me now, I can only advise this: Let people do bad things to you, they can look down at you, mock you, bully you. but they can never ripped your soul apart! Wanting to prove that you are better is useless because everything that we have TODAY is all belong to Allah :)

I learnt my lesson now and I'm happy to tell that those bad impressions and talks about me I use it to be a motivation to work harder and improve myself. I'm not going to show what I have in front of them. Let Allah one day show them the truth. REMEMBER, histories are meant to happen to educate you to be better. Let no one know who you are but you know who you are :)

Ta-ta for now peeps

p/s: I miss Malaysia :'(

WTW - Worth the Wait

What a LONG hiatus huh??? Sorry been a long time I miss my writing. No, not busy just pretending to be one. Hahah Jokking :p

Yeah me kinda busy these few months :(. I'm actually almost forget that I have a blog though. It was a friend of mine who messaged me in Facebook asking about my updates and asking me to write more in the blog.

Oh, not once in my mind I have a loyal reader. Thank you :) Ok, I'm gonna take this few minutes I have (break from reading Hydraulics Book for tomorrow test) to share something that I think worth the wait.

Old folks says "biar lambat asalkan selamat" We only use that for journeys but let me put it in a different approach, have you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of no where and you pray hard that something will come along? Ok, let's just put this way, After graduated in May, I was hoping that my sponsor would call me and offer me a good position. Like I say I pray hard OK

But I waited for almost 5-1/2 months (can you read that? :P) before they email me the offer letter. What took them soooo long? Fell like I don't belong to the company at all. After what I've been sacrificing, it wasn't repay the way I wanted it to be.

I was so at the bottom of my emotion at that time. I've made thorough decision to decline the offer when BH offers me a position. Money is one thing, appreciate is one thing. I worked very hard hoping my sponsor would please me how I pleased them with my result. I thought it was worthy, but IT WAS NOT!

Ok, now I joined other company where I dare to say, It was worth the wait. I had thousand better chances and opportunities open for me now. I've made a fond decision and Alhamdulillah it turns to be the right path for me now :)

Pernah dengar anjakan paradigma?? Yes, this is what I meant, that the challenge. I've made mine and the truth behind it was when you believe in Allah and yourself that you are making the right decision, Put faith and trust in your actions and words because those will make you stronger and better.

Challenges are good. They grow you up high tall. Make sacrifice will worth everything. Life is  fair! Good deeds are to be pay by good deeds too. Allah is Fair. He listens to you everyday. If you want to improve yourself, BE STRONG, DETERMINE and BELIEVE IN ALLAH.

He may not gonna give want you need on the spot, he will save the last for the best :) for me, It was WORTH THE WAIT! What about you? Gotta work to figure that out now I guess :)

Thank you for your time folks. Toodles for now